Friday, March 23, 2007


A called and told me that he has an appt today to go get checked out to rental a plane. He wants to take us up before he goes to training. I have to admit that, despite my pride in him and my belief that he is a great pilot, I haven't been able to get myself to actually go up with him. Despite my belief in the immersion methods of the school, his reassuring ability to rattle off complicated systems stuff and checklists, and the fact that he's been able to teach this stuff to a bunch of students, I've never felt comfortable enough to actually get up there myself. Maybe if there were two pilots up there in case something happened... But I'm going to face my fears and do it. I told him he'd better be sure to pack some windex, paper towels and airsick bags for when I inevitably vomit during a spin demo. At least A and M are super excited. I'm sure we'll be fine, I just have to get over this hurdle.

It hit me today as I was celebrating that it was the end of the workday that he really was going and might not be here at the start of the workday. I'm not worried- he was a batchelor for 5 years and I a single parent for 1 (even longer in practice)- I'm know we can each get by just fine. I'm going to have to work hard to keep my control freak tendencies in check while he's gone. Trust that everything is going good, trust that he can accomplish this, and trust that he can maintain his trust in me as well. His two previous long term relationships ended with a breach of trust and that's something we've been working on overcoming for a long time. At least I recognize that this will be a challenge and not just a breeze through. And I trust that we can get through it and come out stronger.

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