Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgivings past

This year A is in NJ on reserve so it's just Kidzilla and I. We lounged in our pj's, I packed some boxes and did some homework. We'll make up the holiday when A gets home.

I had lots of time to think back on previous Thanksgivings. My first as an adult was when I was living in Medford, OR. My parents came up and they, my boyfriend and I took them to dinner at a fancy "Oregon grown" restaurant. It was terrible. They ran out of turkey and the pie was undercooked. My parents came to visit us for several more Thanksgivings in Oregon when I was in college- I remember sometimes picking them up from the airport and heading straight to dinner. We always went to the Oregon Electric Station, a fancy restaurant with a train car inside and it was always good. My most memorable Oregon Thanksgiving came from a year my parents didn't visit us. And a work acquaintance showed up at my door with pies, cornbread and a turkey breast because she knew I didn't have anywhere to go that year. Although I can't remember that co-worker's name anymore, I'll never forget her thoughtfulness.

Many years and uneventful Thanksgivings passed until another co-worker again stepped in with kindness. Thanksgiving came about 10 weeks after I separated from my first husband and I just didn't feel like attending the usual big family gathering. I sent Kidzilla with my parents and instead headed out to my bosses apartment to spend the day with her and her mom. I sat on the couch all day with a Glamour magazine and didn't have to explain myself to anyone. It was exactly what I needed.

Although I miss being around my family for the holidays, I'm not sad about spending the day alone. This year I'm thankful for my wonderful husband, my two boys and all the opportunities that have come my way.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Navigating communication

I visited the maternal-fetal medicine specialist today for my weekly appointment. The news was not so good and despite my best efforts, I may be looking at bed rest, steroids to enhance development, and early delivery. But we're trying to forestall all that. A is off on a trip, his first since leaving the last one early.

As soon as I finished at the doctor, I did what all wives are inclined to do- deliver the news to their husbands. So I sent him several text messages summarizing the appointment. And then I though about what I had just done. Did he really need to know that info, and in turn worry about it, RIGHT THEN?

Would it have been better to delay giving him the info until the end of the day? The end of the trip? Would it be distracting to him to know what was going on and potentially give the NTSB something to latch on to if there was ever an inflight emergency (ie distraction causing pilot error)? I've heard that pilot personal issues is one of the first questions they ask about when investigating.

Next time I talk to A- probably not tonight due to our conflicting schedules and his Canadian overnight-we'll have to figure out the best way of communicating this kind of info and what he wants me to do if even worse news, of any sort, ever comes up. Then maybe we'll run though a few scenarios in the simulator for good measure...