Sunday, July 26, 2020

In the thick of it

Things were starting to look up for us- the COVID cases seemed contained, the aviation industry had some recovery predictions, and we had a plan. And every time we think things are stabilizing in our lives, it gets turned upside down again. I am exhausted from the constant readjustment and uncertainty. Pretty much every day I count our blessing that we are stable for that day.

A's job was stable, then he got downgraded. He's expected to get furloughed. Then he's not, he'll make the cut. Then he's going to get furloughed again, except for longer. Then maybe not. What are we going to do for income and insurance if he does? Then his airline was literally pitted against another and told by the major both fly for that one of them was going to cease operation in fall and they wanted to know what concessions each group was willing to make to keep their jobs. We're still waiting on the outcome of that but it's led to many stressful video meetings and phone calls between A and the other union reps. Even if his airline stays open, we don't know if he'll be furloughed. Luckily, A has had another flying opportunity fall into his lap to tide us over and maybe lead to more down the road. An old friend from flight school owns a smallish charter business locally and A is able to fly for them. He's in training now, learning a completely different airplane and a completely different operation. Is it short term temporary? Long term temporary? Could it turn into something more? Who knows. But at least it's something.

My two jobs are holding steady. One I get all the hours I expected and it's working well. The other is dependent on other people taking time off. Which really isn't happening too much right now. I'm partly pleased not to be working so much and several more days off per week. But at the same time, there is a financial cost to that. How to balance the two. I gave up my access to benefits when I left full time work, anticipating we could remain covered A. We've explored medical cost sharing programs and that will likely be our overall plan. It's a relief to know that's in place. All of the other stuff- life insurance, retirement savings, and the like still have to be worked out though. But we have a plan.

This summer our kids have remained in daycare and summer camp as planned, with no problems. They are all looking forward to returning to school activities. Which are now postponed for two weeks. At least it's not indefinite. It stretches our tenuous budget to continue paying daycare rates when we were supposed to be moving to the lower aftercare rate, but it is what it is. That's one of those hidden costs that no one thinks about.

We missed our trip to the west coast to see my oldest son graduate from high school. Right now, that place is the center of some major controversy so we're not likely to reschedule anytime soon. The trip was more for me than him anyway. We did get in a mini trip to a relative's house for the 4th of July weekend at least. The kids spent most of the time in the pool. We stayed with family, wore masks when we were out, and came back no worse for the wear. Hopefully we'll get another chance for a small get away this fall.

I am not a person who likes uncertainty. Change is fine, if I know it's coming. But this not knowing? It's slowly killing me. Where is the current prediction of when we will hit our peak? The media was all over that early on, but now? Nothing. How can I make a plan when things keep changing? How can we have goals when we don't even know what's feasible? It's testing all of my skills to keep this anxiety at bay and keep things running normally for my kids. But every day we come through and I thank god that we are stable for another day.