Choices

A lot of people have asked me "Someday, why did you up and move to Florida instead of keeping the life you had and sending A off to flight school alone". Two reasons- it was the right time in my life for a major change and I'm a control freak.

I was newly divorced, living in the house I had shared with my former spouse, trying to put my life back together. After 13 years, there were memories in every corner of our house and our neighborhood. It felt like it was time to break free and be in a place where I wouldn't constantly be reminded of what had been. I had been at my job for 5 years and it had become routine. I wasn't interested in moving up to my boss' job and there wasn't anywhere laterally to go. And I just wasn't interested in a long distance relationship with someone on the other side of the country. Moving gave us an opportunity to build our relationship as free as we possibly could be of reminders of other relationships (well, beside that pesky kid from a prior relationship issue...). We didn't kill each other on the 5 day drive out. In fact, I don't think we even argued. That was a good sign.

I also knew that unless I was there to actually see what was going on, I would be preoccupied with wanting to know what was going on in Jax. Not that I was concerned about infidelity, it was more of just general nosiness. If something was happening to someone close to me, I wanted to know all about it. I would have gone nuts not knowing what the daily grind entailed. Was he studying? Should he be? What does the hanger look like? What does a sim look like? Are wild dogs ravaging the apt and he's running around in a paper sack because I haven't been there to clean and do laundry? (Yes, he is more grown up than that and had lived on his own just fine, but I still like to think that his world would collapse if not for me...) Did he run off to GA with a hot flight attendant and is making up stories about his "training" ? I knew I would drive him nuts with my curious questions.

Part of my motivation was also selfish. I wanted to be with him. It's easier to parent when you have help part of the time vs. none of the time. At least if I was near, he'd be able to fawn over me occasionally. More often than if we were on opposite coasts. I'd be able to feel like more than just a money machine if I were out there interacting and taking care of him.

I've never regret taking the adventurous route and moving to FL instead of staying in my comfort zone in CA. And I'm looking forward to more adventures.