Friday, April 13, 2007

Waits and balances

A called last night to tell me that he was going to be able to come home this weekend after all. Said he needed to "get a haircut and pick up a shirt and tie for his checkride". We both know it's really because he misses me and really wants a home cooked meal. And someone to do his laundry. I'll forgive him is inability to vocalize his emotions, he's a man and he's not used to it. If he's flying positive space and on the company tab, I will welcome him home with open arms. Even if it means having to be at the airport at 11:20pm on friday night and back again at 8:30am sunday.

Actually, I was more ambivilent that he was about his coming home for the weekend. I had made lots of plans with friends to keep us occupied for the weekend and him coming home means having to make a choice. Do I keep the plans with them and let him fend for himself, risking that he might not be home again for a few weeks? Or do I cancel and spend time with him, potentially missing out on fun stuff with them? I'm working on coming to a balance with both.

I think (and I can say this b/c he has freely admited that he doesn't even know where my blog is at, let alone how to read it) that he is having a having a harder time with the separation than I am. He was a confirmed bachelor when we met, but has become accustomed to partnered life and being cared for. On the other hand, life hasn't changed so much for me, except that now I have to go back to being the one to kill the half dead lizards that cat brings us. My routine hasn't changed nearly as much in the past few years as his has.

The next big decision to tackle is what base to "request" (as if the airline will actually consider it when they assign him somewhere...) and how we will deal with that. There are pros and cons to each of the possible decisions. If only I had a crystal ball.

Our other situation is progressing as well as can be expected. Now that the initial shock has worn off, we are just waiting for the end of the journey. I suspect that that is part of the reason he is coming home too, to help deal more with the issues at hand. But it's difficult to get a straight answer on the phone about those kinds of things. Hopefully news in the upcoming weeks will be positive and we can move past this. Fingers are crossed.

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