Thursday, January 8, 2009

Baby, you save me

When we first started dating, I remember making a comment to A that he was like a balloon in the clouds and I was the string that kept him tethered to the earth. It was a metaphor for how he is the head-in-the-clouds, big thinker and dreamer and I am the more practical, down to earth, how-to-make-things-happen person. It's still true today as he brainstorms vague grandiose plans and I focus on the actual practicality. It's gotten us into trouble before, causing arguments about being realistic and following through and not taking everything said literally. He throws out random ideas just to say them, whereas I only bring up ideas for things I intend to follow through on (he brainstorms in public and I brainstorm in private and then announce ideas to him).

Hearing the song You Save Me always makes me think of A and how I sometimes feel like I have to save him from himself. Having to ground him in his world of "someday" dreams as well as reminding him that yes, we will get to those dreams eventually. We may be stalled right now, but look how far we have come already. Maybe the saving him feeling is just a way to feed my already large ego (it's a hardship but hey, knowing is half the battle right?).

In any case, lately it's been me who is overwhelmed and needs to be saved from herself. There are so many things that I feel HAVE to be done to keep our family running smoothly and keep everyone working towards their goals and feeling fulfilled. It's easy to get overwhelmed.

So thank you to my husband for attempting to save me. For following through on the myriad of tasks that you feel indifferent about but are important to me. For making me feel less jealous about your being at home while I am stuck in a job I hate. For strong arming me into letting some things go. For believing me when I say that I sleep far away from you because you are an inferno, not because I am mad.

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