Becoming the mother I want to be

After lamenting in the last post about how I'm not able to have the lifestyle I thought I would, I have to remember that there are still good things. I am still evolving and doing things differently this time around. I feel like this time I have more support for doing things that are not quite the mainstream. Or maybe A just lets me run rampant over him in the parenting realm. Whatever it is, I appreciate it. This time around I am:

• Breastfeeding the baby- last time, I lasted two weeks and caved to the formula and bottles beckoning me from the cabinet when I was sore. This time I refused to keep any formula in the house and pushed through the soreness. And while, for me, nursing is not the glorious, womanhood fulfilling sap-fest that videos make it out to be, it is pretty cool. And cheap compared to the special allergen free formula I would have to purchase otherwise.

• Cloth diapering- last time, my partner wasn't into cloth diapering. Or changing any diapers Or parenting a baby much at all. This time, we have the cloth diapers, the diaper sprayer A attached to our toilet and A will happily run a load through the wash. And keep me in giggles while pretending to carry on about how terrible changing diapers is. Unless it's the middle of the night, when he makes the changes as quietly as possible.

• Co-sleeping- Yes, I sleep with the baby in bed with me. It is a wonderful way for us, and A when he's here, to feel close to the baby after we've been apart all day. And it makes breastfeeding easier. And I get more sleep. We are extremely cautious of pillows, blankets, pets or Kidzilla on the bed around the baby. And to paraphrase a respected expert on the subject- People die from choking every year but we won't try to tell people to avoid eating. Babies die in car accidents every year but we don't outlaw babies riding in cars. Instead we try to find ways to make those activities as safe as possible. Bed sharing should be the same way.

• Aside from the giant hunk of plastic Exersaucer that I bought today, second hand at least, for the most part we are avoiding plastic toys. And anything that plays music. Baby gets the expensive wooden, European made, organic made variety of stuff. We show our love by paying twice the cost for the toy I guess.

For Mother's Day, I'm counting all this as progress towards becoming the mother *I* want to be. Now to go retrieve Babyzilla from being lovingly encased in Fisher-Price designed faux arms...