Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Settling in

A's been in training for over a month now. It seems to be going well and he's passed every thing so far. It's strange because it's almost like he was never home. It feels so familiar to have him gone and be on my own. And maybe that's my problem. I like being on my own a little too much- when he comes home I get get prickly, like he's invading my space.

Lately when he comes home, I feel like he's critiquing and criticizing everything I've done while he's away. "Why did I buy this salad dressing? Why did I let Kidzilla do XYZ? Why are the measuring cups here?" Is it some coping mechanism for him to assert himself as still part of the family even though he's gone a lot? I realized though that if I were gone for a week and came home to a house filled with food I didn't buy and a schedule I didn't put together that I would probably feel a little disoriented as well. So I need to cut him a little more slack and realize that he's not being critical (mostly) and is just trying to get a feel for things. I know he knows I can run the family just fine in his absence and he trusts me not only to do it but also not to get so fed up with him being gone that our family falls apart. But he needs to work on that pilot need to be in control all the time as well- it's not a big deal if Kidzilla sleeps with his head at the foot of the bed. He needs to trust me on that one too.


Whirly Wife said...

Ha ha. That sounds like normal come and go stuff. My husband is the same way. It is very weird for them to come home after being gone for a while and step into new rules and new food ect. It takes mu husband a day to get his bearings and be in the loop and then five days later he is gone again. Hang in there you guys will iron things out. I would suggest keeping him in the loop in what your kid does so its not a surprise and he does feel like he is involved. My friend who is not a pilot wife but very wise said that when her husband goes away she struggles because she can do it all but does not want to make him feel like she does not need him. I think she is onto something.

Joanna said...

space invaders! I get that too from time to time. Isn't it weird how we adapt to wanting alone time, but still bitch when they are gone a lot :)

I totally blogged about something similar...I think it was something like "glad you are, go back where you came from."

It is hard to swing back and forth from having him gone to having him home...takes lots of effort on everyone's part to make it work.

Chris said...

I like my alone time too. I always knew being a pilot's wife wouldn't be a problem for me for that reason.

It's funny also the difference I see between my husband and other pilots on the control issues. He's very laid back and really has no desire to be in control at home. Whether he's gone or at home, he adapts to whatever I have set up. You'd think that sounds ideal, but, many times I wish he would take more control so running the house wouldn't all be on me. I don't know, maybe I'm lucky I get to rule the roost!