Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A secret I'd rather not admit, vol. II

I have a secret dream. A life goal if you will. To ride around a large southern city downtown in a convertible, top down, with steer horns on the front. Just as a passenger. Just one time.

Why? I have no idea. It just seems like something every southern woman should achieve at least once in her life. I think it stems from too many Friday nights watching the double header of Dukes of Hazzard and Dallas with my mom while dad was working swing shift at the airport. Someday I'll be the matriarch of a giant Dallas sized clan and house too. Without all the infighting.

I also had a dream that Kidzilla's bio-dad sent me a Mother's Day card to say thank you for taking care of our son 47 weeks a year. Probably not inspired by Dallas.

Today A took his radioactive pill and is now in isolation in our extra bedroom. No closer than 6 feet for not more than 20 minutes at a time. For 3 days for me, for 7 days for Kidzilla. Giving him that last hug and kiss before he took it was strange. Like he was leaving for a three day trip, even though he'll be withing speaking distance the entire time. At least it will be another 9 months before I have to start weaning myself off the physical closeness we've become accustomed to. I think I'm turning into a softie. And I don't want THAT secret to get out.

1 comment:

Elsja said...

Aww I can't imagine what it would be like to experience what you are going through. Your hubby must feel so isolated with people needing to keep their distance. Well, at least I know I would but everyone is different.

I hope you achieve your goal one day! I've found that writing all my goals down and giving myself a timeframe in which to achieve them by really makes me more likely to actually accomplish them!