Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Navigating communication

I visited the maternal-fetal medicine specialist today for my weekly appointment. The news was not so good and despite my best efforts, I may be looking at bed rest, steroids to enhance development, and early delivery. But we're trying to forestall all that. A is off on a trip, his first since leaving the last one early.

As soon as I finished at the doctor, I did what all wives are inclined to do- deliver the news to their husbands. So I sent him several text messages summarizing the appointment. And then I though about what I had just done. Did he really need to know that info, and in turn worry about it, RIGHT THEN?

Would it have been better to delay giving him the info until the end of the day? The end of the trip? Would it be distracting to him to know what was going on and potentially give the NTSB something to latch on to if there was ever an inflight emergency (ie distraction causing pilot error)? I've heard that pilot personal issues is one of the first questions they ask about when investigating.

Next time I talk to A- probably not tonight due to our conflicting schedules and his Canadian overnight-we'll have to figure out the best way of communicating this kind of info and what he wants me to do if even worse news, of any sort, ever comes up. Then maybe we'll run though a few scenarios in the simulator for good measure...


Courtney said...

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulty with your pregnancy. You raise an interesting question that I think is mostly individual-based. I will fear the worst and can handle specific details well, but I suppose not all people (pilots included) are like that.

I hope you're able to do house bedrest and not the hospital kind, and that all turns out well in the end.

Someday said...


During the three hour drive home from the appt. I started thinking about what situations would warrant immediate notification and which he would want me to wait on. Not just involving me, but our whole family. Car accidents and medical emergencies? How severe? House emergencies? Being broken down on the side of the road? As soon as A knew he had a Dr. appointment to discuss his test results, he ended up leaving the trip because he suspected he had cancer- his CA was supportive and probably would have forced him to drop the rest of the trip if A hadn't volunteered, specifically because of the distraction.

You are right that worry is such an individual thing and no one has the same reaction to any situation. But I think it's a good idea to take the time to clarify, ahead of time, what's call worthy and when.

Joanna said...

sorry you are having issues with this pregnancy! If I were in your shoes, I would probably have delivered news to DH at the end of the day. I would have called my mom and sister first, to get all the news out...because there would be NO WAY I could have kept that in all day.