You can tell it’s Christmas from the glitter on my ass

The post title says it all, doesn’t it? Even though I used our dining room table to stage our decorations and we went low key this year with a baby and a preschooler in the house, glitter mysteriously shows up everywhere- our couch, in Babygirl’s ears, on our socks... it’s pervasive. We’ll spend six months picking it up and washing it off. And no matter how much cleaning we do, more just appears in our home, caused mainly by the influx of glitter laden crafts coming home and by 2 year old C constantly pulling ornaments off the tree. This year I splurged and bought a dozen shatterproof ornaments and a dozen wood and metal ornaments and that’s all that’s on our tree. The whole bottom two feet of the tree is unadorned but still- ornaments on the floor and glitter everywhere.

A did not grow up with Christmas trees or holiday traditions. His family did not celebrate holidays. But he saw it all on tv. Which had given him a somewhat skewed vision of what an average holiday season looks like for an average family. He always wants a designer tree and decorations, a huge family dinner, cocoa, cookies, snow, the works. The first few years he scoffed at my mismatched ornaments and window clings. But now that we have 13 years of memory making behind us he sees the emotions behind the mismatched ornaments and the kid’s excitement at being able to decorate their windows themselves.

I do like to have coordinating gift wraps under the tree and since I’m the one who buys the wrap, it usually works out favorably. Until we mix in presents given to us by other people...  we don’t have a lot of presents, but it’s enough. Our kids have plenty of stuff as it is. Our budget is usually $150 to $200 per person. A conducted an informal poll of his copilots and found that the large majority of people he asked spent about $1000 per person. Both our minds were blown. Completely. I guess if we bought big ticket items every year then maybe, but for the life of me I can’t imagine spending that much money on each kid every year.

We are in luck this year, maybe for the last year, in that A will be home for Christmas. He is actually going to be home for the next three weeks straight which leaves him to do all the errands and running around we need done. And be here to celebrate the season with us. And constantly brush the glitter off his ass.

Odds and Ends

A left yesterday for his third and final retraining event. This time he's gone for 4 full days because he has a union meeting backed up against his simulator sessions. We still don't have a December schedule for him because the company won't build one until he completes retraining. Usually he gets good December schedules and is able to bid a lot of time off around his vacation, but it doesn't seem like that will be the case this year. He will just get what the schedulers decide to throw at him. He will be home for Christmas though as that is his vacation week. At least we have that.

Currently he is the FO rep at his base. The CA rep is also the chairman of the group and is the one responsible for running the group- emails, meetings, conference calls- that sort of thing. There is a new CA rep as the old one moved to a new airline. Now there is a second election to determine who is going to be the new chairman; it doesn't just default to the CA rep like A assumed. Both A and the CA rep voted for each other. A is not the most organized or time aware person and it's going to cut into a lot of his time at home to stay on top of things.

A has brought home two funny stories recently. An old friend of his who left flying and then went back to a cargo airline flew with a "flat- earther". The guy has all kinds of mathematical "proof" that the earth was in fact flat- tricks in compass polarity and all. I wonder if this guy has ever flown a polar route or made an around the world trip and how he would explain it. Seems surprising that a pilot of all people would believe that kind of thing. The second story was another pilot friend who was flying home from a retraining event and was sitting a row behind and opposite a new hire from the same (regional) airline who was coming home from training. While they were waiting for a gate at the end of the flight the guy proceeded to put on his headphones and chat loudly on the phone about how well he did during training, how great he was at Embry-Riddle, and all the girls he had banged during training. He made sure to mention the company name several times.  Way to make a great impression. I guess there will never be an end to the dumb-ass new hires. A's friend did stop the guy in the jetway (without identifying himself) and tell the guy he needed to use a little more discretion because you never know who is listening in. Mr. New Hire is going to feel like an ass for the rest of his career every time he sees the older, wiser pilot, which will be a lot as they are based at the same base.

In other news, Baby Girl is starting to outgrow some of her infant things. I love watching her grow but it's bittersweet knowing that she is our last baby. Passing on the Moses Basket that our babies have slept in and weeding through the clothes that all our babies have worn is really hard. In the past it's been easy because we could just throw it in a bin and know it will get use later. Now, not so much. The fewer kids that have used items, the easier it is, but those things that three or four kids have been through, man that's tough.

Sweet baby girl celebrating Thanksgiving

Returning to flight

i returned to work after maternity leave last week. While I enjoyed staying home, I am also relieved to be free of the monotony of housework and constantly repeating variations of “don’t touch that”, “get off that”, and “put your pants back on”. My work day is filled with working with parents and digging out juicy details like whether they have a car seat. A is still at home for a few more weeks until he goes back to recurrent training. He has been an invaluable help getting things done during the day and helping with our night time checklist. Dinner, clean up, lunches, decanting pumped breastmilk into bottles and freezer bags like an alchemist... it’s all chaotic at this point. A goes back next week and that’s when the training wheels will really come off. We’ll make it work, just like we always do- not like we have a choice really, we can’t give the baby back now. I think chaos will become our new norm with A moving up to a captain slot where he’ll be significantly less senior for bidding and his hopeful transition to a major down the road. In the meantime, we’ll just continue to live by our mottos of “figure it out” and “get ‘er done”. Because what other choice are we given really?

Lactation iced tea

This post is unrelated to what I normally post about but I wanted to make this into something I could pin on Pinterest.

As a breastfeeding, working mother I always have worries about my milk supply and making sure I have enough pumped milk for my baby while we are apart. I am also tandem nursing my 24 month old occasionally as well and worry about maintaining my supply for two. I have used lactation teas in the past with what I assume to be success as I have successfully nursed two children past age two and still been able to donate more than six gallons of milk to a milk bank. Yes, I was blessed in the supply department.

 I like lactation teas, my favorite being this one from Earth Mama Angel Baby. But I don’t always feel like drinking a cup of hot tea. Especially during our hot Florida summers (and springs and falls). Years ago I found a recipe for making my own iced tea as our local, ubiquitous sweet tea can sometimes be too sweet and not refreshing. My own tea tastes lighter and not as sweet. I can drink it like flavored water and feel good about what I’m drinking.

The combination of being home on maternity leave during the hot late summer and being gifted with a huge amount of Mothers Milk tea by Traditional Medicinals to our local La Leche League group for World Breastfeeding Week led me to do some experimenting. And I found a tea that is easy to make, tastes good and feels like it does the job. Like when I wake up in the morning after drinking a few glasses the day before I am so full I have to round up the toddler to take a hit to be more comfortable. I can easily tell whether I’ve had tea the day before. I like to add an extra teabag of a fruity flavored tea because I find the cardamom flavor of the Traditional Medicinals a bit strong. So far I have tried Country Peach Passion by Celestial Seasonings (which is my go to for regular homemade iced tea- delish!) and Orange & Spice by Bigelow because that's what I have on hand, but other flavors will likely work equally well.

My recipe is 6 cups of water, 6-7 tea bags and a tablespoon of sugar or so. It's that simple. Here it is in steps:

Boil 3 cups of water and pour into a pitcher

 Add 6 bags of Mother's Milk (or another brand) tea to steep

Add an additional bag of a fruit/herbal tea if desired

Steep for 10-15 minutes (I do 15, do less for a less strong flavor)

Remove tea bags

Add sweetener of choice to taste- I use 1 TBS of sugar to give a barely sweet taste. The trick is to dissolve the sweetener in the hot tea

Add 3 cups water/ice

Drink as desired. I often drink the entire pitcher during the course of a day to stay hydrated.

*no one paid me any money or gave me any products to encourage me to post this recipe, nor do I benefit from the links. It's all out of my own goodwill*

This post and recipe originally appeared on the blog Oh the Life of a Pilot's Wife

The Secret Keeper

As I mentioned previously, A has taken on being an ALPA (union) rep for his local base. It's a cool volunteer position that also affords him the opportunity to avoid the rumor mill and be one of the first to get the truth about what's going on with the company. It also keeps him updated on many of the misbehaviors of his coworkers that eventually need mediating.

The downside? He has to keep all this juicy info to himself. He had to sign a non-disclosure agreement and is prohibited from owning company stock. He has to be careful in his discussions to avoid any whiff of insider trading. Now, this is HARD for A. He's not the best at keeping surprises and secrets. At least from me. But he manages. The other downside? He gets calls and emails ALL the time. And he feels compelled to answer every incoming call as best he can. Even if it interrupts family time or we are all in the van waiting for him. I think because he's been at home on leave for basically his entire term so far he's a) trying to prove himself, and b) forgets that there will be times that he can't answer his phone- like when he's flying, and sometimes the caller will just have to wait. Its a work in progress to work this new role into our family life.

I'm now in my last week of maternity leave and will return to work next week. I'm looking forward to it because honestly my (just turned) two year old drives me nuts. He's constantly into stuff and it's exhausting to constantly follow him and clean up his messes all day. And then the seven year old comes home from school and they just rile each other up until bedtime. Since I knew I'd only be home for 12 weeks, all of it with A home with me, I never bothered to look into community activities to keep us occupied. Probably this would have helped my mental status... This week A is gone to Houston Monday through Friday at a big union meeting. No matter how much he denies it, I KNOW he is enjoying a quiet hotel room, a big bed to himself, and restaurant meals where he doesn't have to cut anyone else's food, play 100 games of tic-tac-toe, or remember to bring diapers, wipes and sippy cups. This is sort of my trial run in getting up and everyone out of the house in the morning and getting dinner and the evening chores done alone. It's a little easier since I'm home all day, but it's good practice. A will remain on leave for a few more weeks- thanks to a combo of vacation time and generous paternity leave he is actually off longer than I am. He heads back to recurrent training for the second half of November and then has vacation again in December for Christmas. At least there is a lot of "easing in" into this three kids at home business!

Changing Connections

I mentioned previously that Facebook really opened up connections for pilot wives. 10 years ago there was one primary forum, Jetgirls, and a few other smaller ones. One had to specifically seek them out and unless you were familiar with the concept of a forum, you probably didn’t search for one. I stumbled on Jetgirls after finding its brother site Jetcareers. We were all a happy family, getting to know each other virtually, sharing our ups, downs, and questions. It was a smallish community where you started to know people through their posts and replies. With the rise of social media in our lives Facebook has taken over as the connector of choice. There are Facebook groups for everything now days and options for secret and limited memberships as well as open to anyone. Now, there are tons of ways for pilot wives to connect via groups. There are several general groups and many niche groups- airline specific, family, political, cooking, reading. Don’t like a member of a group or want to discuss something specific? Start your own group. No need for a website, forum software or anything else. The groups have become a great resource in connecting with others and sharing information. Some groups have become overwhelmingly large and generalized at this point which definitely means a loss of a small community where people get to know each other personally. I went on vacation and visited ladies I met in the Jetgirls forums but I have yet to make a new friend via a Facebook group. Facebook can be great if you want 500 opinions on when to call a union rep or commiserate how difficult life can be but who wants to air their laundry for that many people or run the risk of someone telling someone telling someone about something you posted and having it get back to your pilot or his company in a negative way? Facebook is not nearly the private entity people pretend it is. Also with newer groups there are a lot more random posts to weed through- questions about kitchen remodels, photos of snakes defeated, complaints about in laws... Hang around long enough and you will see the same questions and topics replayed over and over. Admittedly, topics don’t hang around in a Facebook feed long enough for newer people to know the topic has already been hashed out. Unless, you know, search function. Overall, it’s good the worlds gotten smaller and there are more connections out there to be made. It’s just finding the time to whittle down and actually make the connections.

Returning home

I wrote 328 posts over the course of nine years and then I hit a wall. A couple of years into regional carrier life and every thing was so routine that it just seemed like there was nothing to write about any more.

Since my last post, in March 2015, some things have changed, for better or worse, and some things have not, also for better or worse. I’m still working full time as a hospital social worker and continue to work with parents and babies in a NICU setting. A continues to fly for his regional airline with 10 years of service behind him. Our oldest son M, known as Kidzilla, is now 15 and in high school. He resides with his dad and stepmom on the west coast. Our middle son S, known as babyzilla, is soon approaching 7. Our youngest son C is 2 this month. And our new, sweet baby girl Peeps is 2 months old. Yes, we’ve added TWO more children since I last posted. Obviously, things are a bit hectic around the house at times. One of our saving graces is that A has bypassed upgrading to Captain several times in order to remain a senior First Officer. This has allowed him to bid schedules that work for our family and allow him to be gone home when we need him. There has been a significant impact on our finances from doing this though. A was pretty much forced to upgrade by his company due to mergers and will be going for training in the spring. He bid it out as far as possible to remain home for Christmas and Spring Break.

This past May I took my first flight in 7 years. It was the first flight for both S and C as well. We all flew to California on short notice due to the unexpected death of my father. We did spring for regular fare tickets because I couldn’t handle the stress of non-reving on top of everything else. Holding a 19 month old on top of a 28 week pregnant belly while two legging it across the country was no simple feat, but we did it. We had always put off visiting California because the logistics of traveling there and then to the rural area where my parents lived just seemed overwhelming (and expensive!), but we made it work. It was interesting to be there again after 7 years away. There was much to talk about and rediscover- the traffic!, our extended families!- and several new experiences for the boys- mountains! snow! Giant trees! At some point we will travel out there again to spread my fathers ashes in the park he loved.

A was voted in as FO union rep at his base much to his surprise. While walking around the grocery store one day in early spring, he got a call from the local (base) committee saying that his name had shown up as a write in on several ballots for FO rep but they didn’t have a willingness to serve form from him. Someone had staged a write in campaign to get him elected without his knowledge. He didn’t even know about it! His name went on the official ballot and he was elected without any kind of campaigning. Although it adds to his business and strains his barely existent time management skills, he does enjoy the position. And now that his airline is headed into merging and other future possible changes it helps cut down on all the rumors he brings home because he is the first to know the truth of what’s going on.

Hopefully I can start a new season of blogging, this time as an experienced wife. I have found that with the rise of Facebook there is a lot more one to one, immediate support and less following peoples lives long term via blogs. Most of the aviation wife bloggers I used to follow have dropped off of blogging and haven’t posted in years. A lot of blogs start and disappear after a few posts and there are very few long termers out there. It’s good to be back and hopefully I still have some followers out there.