Particular to pilots

Someday's "You Know Your Husband Is a Pilot When" List:

• You leave TO DO Flows, not lists
  

• Text messages begin with "Be advised"

• You receive random text messages encoded with airport call letters which mean nothing to you because you don't have the codes memorized for every possible airport he could fly to
  

• Calls are interrupted with "Stand by" and resume with "Go ahead"

• You are frequently told "Disregard" instead of "never mind"

• Your assessment of the weather (ie. "it's hot") is always countered with the exact temperature and visibility

• At every intersection you give the "clear right" challenge and response
  

• You are occasionally critiqued by being told "you are driving just like a first officer flying on autopilot and not paying attention to the controls"- (BTW, this is not a good use of Crew Resource Management in a marriage, despite how well it might work in a cockpit)

• Plans like "well, I'll just fly from Jax to Atlanta to Tallahassee, take a cab to the apartment, pick up my car and drive back to Jax. Should be home around 3pm" seem not only plausible, but actually the best option.

Pilots have not only their own lexicon, which is infiltrating our family, but also a peculiar way of thinking sometimes.

The other day, I dropped A off at the airport, in uniform, to head to work. For some reason, this time it felt like a lot of people were watching us. Admittedly, it was a busy day at the airport, but I know I saw a few heads swivel and stare. At first I wondered why but then I realized that most people never see uniformed pilots outside of an airport or plane. It's like they are robots that are put away in some magic airport closet at night. So it appears out of context to see a travel dirty car with a kid asleep in the back seat pull up, a pilot hop out, his very pregnant wife hop out, give him a peck on the lips, a slap on the ass and a "have a good trip, see ya in a few" and then leave him on the curb as she goes tearing off to make dinner with her friends. People probably expect something much more romantic than that. If they only knew that the car ride to the airport was probably spent arguing about the dishes that didn't get done or the uniform shirt that needs to be picked up from the cleaners... I guess this does happen in other professions too. If I saw my pediatrician telling her kid "no you can't have a candy bar" and watched him throw a fit on aisle three of the local Publix, I would probably feel out of sorts too.

And finally, the posterity pictures. Every pilot wife I know has at least one picture of her husband in the cockpit, standing next to his plane, or doing some other piloty thing. I admit, I have one on my nightstand. Is it a proof thing- yes he really is a pilot and really does exist? A pride thing? I racked my brain trying to come up with other professions that do this as well: Firefighters, police and some military with their accouterments- probably. UPS drivers next to their big brown trucks- possibly. Accountants, computer programmers, salesmen beaming proudly from their cubicles- probably not. I can't recall ever having a picture of husband #1 kicked back in his roller chair at work.

And with those thoughts in mind, I'm back to the grindstone as I finish my last week of classes EVER for my graduate degree.

Thanksgivings past

This year A is in NJ on reserve so it's just Kidzilla and I. We lounged in our pj's, I packed some boxes and did some homework. We'll make up the holiday when A gets home.

I had lots of time to think back on previous Thanksgivings. My first as an adult was when I was living in Medford, OR. My parents came up and they, my boyfriend and I took them to dinner at a fancy "Oregon grown" restaurant. It was terrible. They ran out of turkey and the pie was undercooked. My parents came to visit us for several more Thanksgivings in Oregon when I was in college- I remember sometimes picking them up from the airport and heading straight to dinner. We always went to the Oregon Electric Station, a fancy restaurant with a train car inside and it was always good. My most memorable Oregon Thanksgiving came from a year my parents didn't visit us. And a work acquaintance showed up at my door with pies, cornbread and a turkey breast because she knew I didn't have anywhere to go that year. Although I can't remember that co-worker's name anymore, I'll never forget her thoughtfulness.

Many years and uneventful Thanksgivings passed until another co-worker again stepped in with kindness. Thanksgiving came about 10 weeks after I separated from my first husband and I just didn't feel like attending the usual big family gathering. I sent Kidzilla with my parents and instead headed out to my bosses apartment to spend the day with her and her mom. I sat on the couch all day with a Glamour magazine and didn't have to explain myself to anyone. It was exactly what I needed.

Although I miss being around my family for the holidays, I'm not sad about spending the day alone. This year I'm thankful for my wonderful husband, my two boys and all the opportunities that have come my way.

Navigating communication

I visited the maternal-fetal medicine specialist today for my weekly appointment. The news was not so good and despite my best efforts, I may be looking at bed rest, steroids to enhance development, and early delivery. But we're trying to forestall all that. A is off on a trip, his first since leaving the last one early.

As soon as I finished at the doctor, I did what all wives are inclined to do- deliver the news to their husbands. So I sent him several text messages summarizing the appointment. And then I though about what I had just done. Did he really need to know that info, and in turn worry about it, RIGHT THEN?

Would it have been better to delay giving him the info until the end of the day? The end of the trip? Would it be distracting to him to know what was going on and potentially give the NTSB something to latch on to if there was ever an inflight emergency (ie distraction causing pilot error)? I've heard that pilot personal issues is one of the first questions they ask about when investigating.

Next time I talk to A- probably not tonight due to our conflicting schedules and his Canadian overnight-we'll have to figure out the best way of communicating this kind of info and what he wants me to do if even worse news, of any sort, ever comes up. Then maybe we'll run though a few scenarios in the simulator for good measure...

Because you can't make this stuff up...

A managed two flights of his trip then had to visit the base clinic because his ears were bothering him so much. Boom! Taken off the trip, told not to fly for at least 3 days, given an Rx for steriods and told to see an ENT when he gets home (hmmm, how to get home without flying?). Yep, because my honey is Murphy's Law personified. Ironically, when I was posting yesterday I almost put in a line about how long it would be until our next issue cropped up. Guess it was only a matter of time...

Git 'er done

I'm down to my last six weeks of classes. Which is great because although I love being in school, homework is taking it's toll on me. And life is taking it's toll on my homework. It seems like it's just been one thing after another lately.

Yesterday we found out I've got too low of fluid for the baby and narrowly avoided being hospitalized last weekend. So now I've got to manage to drink two liters of water a day and report in for monitoring weekly. At the doctor's office that is three hours away. As much as I love a good road trip, this is going to drive me nuts. However, it's only for 6 weeks until we move there permanently. Bright side, bright side.

The weekend before that, A's eagle eye and obsessive account monitoring caught some fraudulent charges on my bank card. I can only wish that I had actually been in Sao Paulo, Brazil. So we had to spend a few hours taking care of that mess. Which seems to have worked out positively. Bright side, bright side.

I have 17 items on my to do list this week- ranging from scheduling moving tasks to contacting the Dean of Students at Kidzilla's school to make sure I don't get labeled a habitual truant for having him out of school all the times I have to drive to the Dr. On top of reading 7 textbook chapters (boring!), writing a policy brief (est time 5 hrs) and taking both a quiz and exam online. Plus I've got to manage Kidzilla's commitments (football, trick or treating, homework) AND try and keep up with A. Oh, but the accomplishment I'll feel when I get it all done... Bright side, bright side.

On a positive note, A started his first trip back today. It's hard to believe it's finally here. He made it through re-training, still mostly fits in his uniform, and managed to navigate to the crew room at his new base without incident. He hasn't flown since 2/25/08 due to this. I'm going to have to review some old posts to remember what it was like when he was flying the line previously. This one should be helpful. A is worried because he isn't here to monitor my water intake for himself (silent head nodding from those readers who know what I'm talking about) and because all the driving means I might have to take the car into for it's regular service ALL BY MYSELF. He may have his issues, but I love him just the same.

If I can just make it through the next six weeks, then all I will have to worry about is nesting and prepping for another adventure.