Results are in

Yesterday I got up an hour early, got everyone in the car, took A to the hospital for a scan, killed time until it was time to take Kidzilla to school, returned to the hospital and spent a fascinating 2.5 hours in the lobby waiting for A to be done with his bone scan. At least I was able to get some reading done, although it was slow going with the Fox News blaring and all the interesting people.

We got word of the results by phone a while ago. The cancer is not gone and A will have to go through another round of treatment. It's going to be at least another 9 months. At this point, he'll have enough seniority to upgrade by the time he goes back (I wish!). They are going to do a CAT scan to determine if there is anything they can surgically remove and do another dose of the radioactive iodine. So now, I'll have to be isolated from him for 3-5 days while not having a job to go to. Further radiation treatments to be determined later.

While this news sucks, I am happy at least that the Doctor is being aggressive with this because of how aggressive the cancer was last year. I would have to see A go through all of the retraining, fly a few trips and then get pulled off the line again. At this point we are still under the "first occurrence" rules which are somewhat looser than the second or third occurrence rules (thing three strikes, you're out). Also, we will be looking at a second full year on disability pay which was only a fraction of what his first year salary was. At least we have good medical insurance.

On a bright note, I'm on my way to Atlanta this weekend for a pilot wives get together. And thanks Shelly for the song title/author hook up.

Turn me on tonight, I'm radioactive...

Well, not really, but that's the only radioactive lyrics I could come up with. And hat's the only part of the song I could remember. If anyone can give me the title/artist so that I can torment A with it indefinitely, I would appreciate it. Its in the classic rock genre and I think there's a part about "can't get distracted" and a chorus about "I want you to stay with me" .

As the title gives away, A took his radioactive pill today and will have having his scans on wed and thurs. This dose is 40x less strong than the one he took last year, so we don't have to worry about the not sharing a bed/bathroom/silverware business like we did before. We are hoping, hoping, hoping that it is good news for us by the end of the week because basically, it all comes down to this.

In other good news, we have yet to get so irritated by each other that we have poked out any eyes or pulled out any fingernails on each other. Not an easy feat when you are together 24/7. But it seems to be going well thus far. I think I've graduted into Advanced Loafing and Timewasting and I'm taking the final on Inventing Errands.

And sadly, this month marks two years since I was last able to get pregnant. I can't begin to explain how that two years feels.

To end on a good note- I put up a new picture on the blog site (for those of you who use a reader to keep up with me), I'm making an effort to wear something beyond a tee shirt and jeans to avoid that "I've given up" look, and I'm going to actually use my twitter account.

Only a pilot's wife would understand

I love my husband, I really do. But sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. And having him home for the last year has been walking that good thing fine line. Sometimes an independent girl just needs her space. A knows this, understands this and enjoys (tolerates?) this quality of mine. Sometimes he even busts out a little humor about it. Like when, a few days ago, he told a friend of ours (a more traditional gal) that I was moving to Tallahassee to get away from him. Her jaw dropped and her eyes got all wide. I think my single gal friend had trouble believing that I would ever need some space away from my man. What is that quip? There's a little truth in every joke?

If I hated the job so much...

and I was planning on leaving in 16 weeks anyway, why am I so torn up about getting laid off?

Oh yeah, because we need the money. This isn't the route to becoming a stay at home mom that I was planning on taking.

A secret i'd rather not admit

I have discovered that I have a problem. An addiction if you will. Most of the time I am strong enough to overcome it. But every so often, usually when A sets me off, I can't help myself. I binge on TV.

Normally, I avoid the television and restrict Kidzilla's viewing as well. It stems from a previous relationship where it felt like the TV was on ALL THE TIME. I hated it and as soon as the relationship was over the TV was off all of the time. To this day, I avoid getting sucked into shows that I HAVE TO WATCH. I hate that feeling of "OMG I have to hurry up grocery shopping or having drinks with a friend so I can get home in time to watch XYZ". And I'm not shelling out for a TIVO either.

But on occasion, I will come home and find A watching something ridiculous like Housewives of New York or Rock of Love or Millionaire Matchmaker or Curb Appeal and my god, I just can't stop myself. I will sit and watch hours of it. Leaving A and Kidzilla to fend for themselves, usually leading to dinner of Taco Bell and me complaining that they are interrupting my viewing. Once I start, I can't stop. It's never a show of any substance, it's usually something where I gape at humanity and thank god that I'm not those people (with the exception of the HGTV, when I wish I was the one buying a swanky vacation home in some exotic locale), but nevertheless, I can't help myself. Thank goodness I'm not a pilot on reserve home watching this crap all day long.

I have heard that step one is admitting that you have a problem.