A has hit a critical phase- burnout. I can tell b/c when he comes home he doesn't talk about his students and his day, he just wants to crash and sleep. With the intense schedule he's been keeping, I'm not surpised. But he only has 25 more hours to go. His good friend is coming to FL to start the program and he'll spend 10 of those hours with him, which will be good for them both. I'm glad we are almost at the end (and sincerely hope that we are almost at the end). I can't imagine having to keep on this for another 100+ hours!
I know it's been hard for him to see several friends leave for airline jobs and to have passed on the chance to have a job already while he's been waiting for his preferred airline. I know he's tired of incompetent students who throw him under the bus when they don't know something during a check-ride, harried schedules, being overworked and not being able to take care of personal things. Of his guilt for not spending more time with his family (which, if you've been reading this blog you will know, is self-imposed).
I called him on his procrastination the other night. It wasn't pretty, but it wasn't horrible either. I told him it wasn't fair to us to use us as his excuse if he failed b/c he hadn't really applied himself. There is so much he needs to study- airline regs, gouges, prep for the jet course, ATP and AGI stuff- that he doesn't do any of it and instead says he can't because we need him. It's hard for him b/c he is overwhelmed and feels the pressure to succeed and doesn't want me to be angry with him. It's hard for me to be so helpless and unable to make things easier for him.
I have faith that this too shall pass in a matter of weeks.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Today is...
my birthday. And A will be spending the evening in the sim with his study buddy doing prep work for the jet transistion class he'll be taking in a few weeks. Such is life, it's no big deal. Surely not to be the last time this happens. At least he's in the same city this year.
Patience is being tested again. A's flight school called him out of the blue and asked him to tell me to submit my resume. So I did. Haven't heard anything back yet though. Patience is sooooo not my virtue. I've turned into a compulsive email checker and that's a horrible trait as well.
Patience is being tested again. A's flight school called him out of the blue and asked him to tell me to submit my resume. So I did. Haven't heard anything back yet though. Patience is sooooo not my virtue. I've turned into a compulsive email checker and that's a horrible trait as well.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
More wisdom
I was procrastinating at work the other day (hey, at least I'm honest...) and was reading some other blogs. I came across one at JTrain 609's Blog titled Why Pilots Want To Move On So Badly, all about why flight instructors are in such a hurry to move up to the airlines. The lure of health insurance and free flight calls to us all... It's here
In other news, the school raised the instructor pay by $200/month and increased some of the bonuses available. We just found out that they are now also paying $5/hour during instructional flight time. Great news for us; increased income always is.
In other news, the school raised the instructor pay by $200/month and increased some of the bonuses available. We just found out that they are now also paying $5/hour during instructional flight time. Great news for us; increased income always is.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Cool stuff
A got to train someone famous. Everytime they went to lunch, people recognized the guy. He appreciated that A knew of him, but wasn't that into what the guy did; he was tired of people talking about it. He was a nice guy and invited A to fly with him in his new Cirrus soon. And of course A got him through his check ride with flying colors.
Repeat, rehash, rethink
It came up in conversation recently, now that we are almost done with the program, would we do it the same way again? Would I continue to have a relationship with a man going through flight school with dreams of piloting or would I have broken it off before he started training? Would I have moved all the way to FL and given up all I had established in CA or stayed there while he was here? How did I feel about his training and how it infringed upon my life?
Reflecting back on everything, I think I would say yes, I would do it again. This has been a great experience for all of us and I can't imagine our lives any other way. Would other people make the same decision? Hard to say. Yes, it was risky, chucking it all and moving to FL with a guy I had been dating for a year who was chasing a dream. but for us, it worked. I know it could have gone horribly wrong, and I had a plan for that (well, kinda) but I was committed to working it out. I can't imagine what it would have been like to stay back in CA and never see him. Never be there to nag him into studying, share his successes, hear the gossip. I can't say for sure that we both would not have started wandering either. After all, it was a fairly new relationship.
The infringing upon my life is harder to explain. It is such a complicated thought to have to work through. Did I intend to get into a relationship with a man who would make my life more difficult? Who would be gone half the month or more? Who would end up dropping in and out of my life like a disneyland dad, always wanting to do fun stuff because he had time, despite my needing to stick to my routine because that's the only way to get everything done? No, I can't say as thought I was advertising for that when I was looking for a date. My life is completely different from what I thought it would end up like. Do I feel infringed upon or like I gave something up? No. I think that personally being ready for a change made all the difference. If I had been resistant to any step along our path, we would have halted and (he) would have called the whole thing off. But at the same time, how could I have dealt with myself knowing that I was preventing someone from achieving their dreams? Would I have felt better forcing him to stay in a high paying but mind numbing job just so I could have designer jeans? Would I have wanted him to do the same thing for me? I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one person would not make a sacrifice for the other. I was in that relationship and I left it.
A stuggles a lot with not being the provider for our family right now. I think it stems from his conservative religious. It's not that he feels I should be home while he earns all the $, but that he should be making more $ than me. Because he's the MAN. Whatever that shizz is all about. He's slowing being indocrinated to my feminist ways, feminism being a complete and utter mystery and assumed negative to him. Why should he have to be the main wage earner? He has no good reason to give for why it should be so. I expect to be treated as an equal and so should he. Why should the onus of having to earn all the money be put on him, just because he THE MAN? It's an ongoing discussion.
I found too, the A uses his family as a procrastination tool. He should be studying, but he feels guilty if he doesn't spend time with his family. This is probably the biggest (and only) negative to us being here with him. Of course I'd like to believe that if we weren't here, he'd be spending his time pining away for us, but that is neither here nor there. He's on to a good thing, because of course, who is going to stay, no you shouldn't be spending time with your family, you should be doing something that doesn't involve us. How can I call him on that? And I'm sure it ties in with the whole wage earner/family man complex as well. So instead, we carve out dedicated study time and family time, to help ease my fear and his allowance of family time cutting into study time.
Two tips I've come across to help ease family strain:
1. Find a place that is not home to study at. For us, if he's at home, we'll bother him, it's as simple as that. And set specific times to study
2. When selling off belongings or economizing to raise $ for flight school, translate everything into how many flight hours it will buy you. Makes the pain of separation slightly easier.
Reflecting back on everything, I think I would say yes, I would do it again. This has been a great experience for all of us and I can't imagine our lives any other way. Would other people make the same decision? Hard to say. Yes, it was risky, chucking it all and moving to FL with a guy I had been dating for a year who was chasing a dream. but for us, it worked. I know it could have gone horribly wrong, and I had a plan for that (well, kinda) but I was committed to working it out. I can't imagine what it would have been like to stay back in CA and never see him. Never be there to nag him into studying, share his successes, hear the gossip. I can't say for sure that we both would not have started wandering either. After all, it was a fairly new relationship.
The infringing upon my life is harder to explain. It is such a complicated thought to have to work through. Did I intend to get into a relationship with a man who would make my life more difficult? Who would be gone half the month or more? Who would end up dropping in and out of my life like a disneyland dad, always wanting to do fun stuff because he had time, despite my needing to stick to my routine because that's the only way to get everything done? No, I can't say as thought I was advertising for that when I was looking for a date. My life is completely different from what I thought it would end up like. Do I feel infringed upon or like I gave something up? No. I think that personally being ready for a change made all the difference. If I had been resistant to any step along our path, we would have halted and (he) would have called the whole thing off. But at the same time, how could I have dealt with myself knowing that I was preventing someone from achieving their dreams? Would I have felt better forcing him to stay in a high paying but mind numbing job just so I could have designer jeans? Would I have wanted him to do the same thing for me? I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one person would not make a sacrifice for the other. I was in that relationship and I left it.
A stuggles a lot with not being the provider for our family right now. I think it stems from his conservative religious. It's not that he feels I should be home while he earns all the $, but that he should be making more $ than me. Because he's the MAN. Whatever that shizz is all about. He's slowing being indocrinated to my feminist ways, feminism being a complete and utter mystery and assumed negative to him. Why should he have to be the main wage earner? He has no good reason to give for why it should be so. I expect to be treated as an equal and so should he. Why should the onus of having to earn all the money be put on him, just because he THE MAN? It's an ongoing discussion.
I found too, the A uses his family as a procrastination tool. He should be studying, but he feels guilty if he doesn't spend time with his family. This is probably the biggest (and only) negative to us being here with him. Of course I'd like to believe that if we weren't here, he'd be spending his time pining away for us, but that is neither here nor there. He's on to a good thing, because of course, who is going to stay, no you shouldn't be spending time with your family, you should be doing something that doesn't involve us. How can I call him on that? And I'm sure it ties in with the whole wage earner/family man complex as well. So instead, we carve out dedicated study time and family time, to help ease my fear and his allowance of family time cutting into study time.
Two tips I've come across to help ease family strain:
1. Find a place that is not home to study at. For us, if he's at home, we'll bother him, it's as simple as that. And set specific times to study
2. When selling off belongings or economizing to raise $ for flight school, translate everything into how many flight hours it will buy you. Makes the pain of separation slightly easier.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Slowing Down
A only has 68 hours to go until he has enough hours to start applying. Sadly in Dec. he only managed to rack up 18. BUT, it's our own fault because I insisted he take time off for a wedding/honeymoon (9 days), had some no fly days due to sinus issues, and also had 5 days off for the holidays. Hopefully he'll be able to make it up in Jan. He was averaging 80/month so I'm crossing my fingers. Esp. since they are down a few instructors and it looks like 2 more might be moving on in the next few weeks (good luck to you guys!) Hopefully it will mean that there are a lot of flight hours funneled his way. I'll start baking some cookies as bribes. I'm getting tired of this stage. At least the new year brought a small pay raise for both of us.
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